Buy A fucking gift certificate
Why wouldn't you want to buy a gift certificate to look fresh AF
Just the tip
$25 is for pussies. At least get a $50 one.
Perfect for the gift that says, I like having sex with you, but I'm not fully committed to this relationship.
Murder is cheaper than divorce
A gift that shows you are comfortable in your marriage with 3 kids and just want your husband to leave you alone so you can drink buzz balls